Resulted after Cyn said, "'Kicking it?' What is he 16?"
(characters come from A Fanfic Reader's Unauthorized Guide…)

Hermione found Severus Snape in a characteristically foul mood one evening after he had just sent Captain Dunderhead and his first mate off to detention for talking like the sixteen year olds they were.

"Sir? Do you, um, want to 'kick it' tonight?"

"Miss Granger! Since when do you employ such inane, dunderhead-derived vocabulary?"

"I apologize, professor, for any misunderstanding. But I rather resent your description of my vocabulary."

"Is that so?" He sneered.

"Yes, so much so that I am rather inclined to "employ" one of those nicknames—"

Snape stepped closer to her, peering down at her intently. "You know what happens the moment you do that?"

"Indeed," she answered, smirking. "As long as it is followed by the action requested in my question."

Snape paused, confused. "Kicking… it…?" He barely managed to spit out the vulgar words.

"Kick…?" Hermione shook her head. Her tongue swept out across her lips, moistening them. "Sev, I'd said, 'do you want to LICK it tonight?"

Snape's sour face shifted into a smirking smile as he pulled Hermione closer and hastened to aid her in moistening her lips.

"And then hastened to moisten her other lips," said the Maryator.

AND THEY ALL STILL LIVED CRACKTASTICALLY (and sucktastically) EVER AFTER.

I've been so busy with RL stuff lately that I haven't participated in much of my favorite HP related activities. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things…

Chapter 4 of A Fanfic Reader's Unauthorized Guide to the Unofficial Hogwarts: A History has been posted.

Here's the story's URL:
http://www.thepetulantpoetess.com/viewstory.php?sid=8170

Drac, Potter, Cyn, and I are working on the Epilogue That Does Not Suck.

I'm wondering if there are any places to advertise our story to HP/DM shippers? We can really only archive it on TPP because most of the HP/DM archives are ship specific and don't care to share the limelight with HG/SS.

Chapter One Summary:In which Harry is somewhat indiscriminately randy, Snape struggles manfully to be completely oblivious, Hermione is a connoisseur of printed-out Internet porn, and Draco exits the closet dramatically and demands Resolution of Sexual Tension. This is your TPP chat room on crack—fic.

Also, chapter 11 of Desire and Deception is about halfway written. I don't want to post it until I have a couple extra chapters done, especially because it's been so long since I've updated. I'd like to make sure I can update the rest of the story regularly before I start uploading new chapters.

The other original WIP is still on the back burner.

List ten fictional characters you would have sex with (in no particular order).

1. Severus Snape
2. Lucius Malfoy

Hmmm, why do I get the feeling that those two will be popular choices in this community?

3. Aragorn of Lord of the Rings
4. Dorian Gray (as seen in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen… Stewart Townsend is so hot… on that note…)
5. Lestat from the movie version (if it even qualifies as a "version" after so much corruption) of Queen of the Damned
6. Will Turner from Pirates of the Caribbean
7. Erik *aka* The Phantom of the Opera
8. Louis from the movie version of Interview With A Vampire
9. Inman from Cold Mountain
10. Jude from Across The Universe

It's so much fun to type out that whole title. LOL.

Well, chapter three is in the queue. I love this chapter. There's some real good fun in there. And, well, we didn't actually *promise* there would be RST… but it should be a pleasing chapter all the same. Besides, *good* RST (*laughing*), like the kind Cyn (snapemylove) and I had been working on for this chapter, is worth the wait of one more chapter. However, I can't speak of when the RST will occur for our other couple… Those characters seem to require a bit of extra plot first, of all things! Hopefully, Hermione and Severus are simply too bright and too hot for each other to let such inconsequential things get in their way… Hopefully.

Don't get your knickers in a twist, the RST will occur *sometime.* All Quidditch games must come to an end. This just happens to be the Longest Quidditch Game Ever…

If you haven't heard of this story, it is a collaboration by dracontia reginafletcher, potter potteresque_ire, cyn snapemylove, and me. If you are in the mood to laugh… a lot… then check it out.

Story summary: In which Harry is somewhat indiscriminately randy, Snape struggles manfully to be completely oblivious, Hermione is a connoisseur of printed-out Internet porn, and Draco exits the closet dramatically and demands Resolution of Sexual Tension. This is your TPP chat room on crack—fic.

It can be found here: http://www.thepetulantpoetess.com/viewstory.php?sid=8170

I've decided to return to working on my two WIPs. I keep getting new ideas for fics, but I want to wrap up the ones I have going on already. I just reread my original story to refresh my memory of it. It was the first story I've written and posted online. Consequentially, the beginning chapters are very rough. However, I love the story and where I know it will be heading. It's about a teenage girl who moves to a new town and has to go to a new school her senior year. She unfortunately crushes on the most popular guy in school, and plenty of teenage drama ensues. Despite how annoyingly angsty teenagers can be in RL (*refrains from remembering she was once one of them*), it's actually a lot of fun to write from that perspective. So, we last saw Janey agreeing to date someone who is definitely not Daniel. She says that she is definitely over him (people really would do well to realize that bold declarations made because they so desperately wish them to be true does not necessarily mean that they actually are true). What will happen next? *goes to write*

"Love Always, Draco" by Newshound has been updated AGAIN! The second time this week and the third time in the past two.

I feel like I'm reliving Christmas or something.

If you haven't read it, you should. It's a Harry/Draco story (if you don't do slash, you're missing out). It's also one of my top two HP fan fiction stories ever. Don't let its length scare you. Every chapter is worth it.

It's about the journey Harry and Draco take to renew their love after their divorce four years prior. Angst, humor, romance, the best original characters I've ever seen in fanfic, intense sex, and a deep look at the characters as they learn about themselves and each other.

It's archived on The Hexfiles: www.thehexfiles.net if you want some of this H/D goodness for yourself.

X-posted to hd100

Title: Dig A Hole For Another Grave
Author: severuslovesus
Word Count: 100 x 4
Other characters: Hermione and Ron briefly
Rating: PG
Challenge: Hole
Disclaimer: These characters are not mine. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.

( Harry watched Draco walk back into the cold night… )

X-posted to hd100
Title: Heartfelt Exchanges
Author: SeverusLovesUs
Word Count: 100 (x 8 drabbles)
Rating: PG-13
Challenge: Heart
Beta: shadow samurai
Author's Notes: mild use of adult language
Picking up where Cold's Comfort left off, this is the next part of Harry and Draco's story during the DH time period.

( Heartfelt Exchanges )

( The first of perhaps many DH rants… This one revolves around Harry and Horcruxes… Up next: Everything Snape )

Well, chapter 2 of A Fanfic Reader's Unauthorized Guide to the Unconventional Hogwarts: A History has been beta'd and send to Drac for posting. It should probably land in the queue tomorrow. We all had a last look at it and then I read through it at least a good few times searching for errant and missing commas, which was harder than usual seeing as how I kept getting distracted by all the laughing I was doing…

As snapemylove said in her journal, we've been working on some Snape/Hermione RST for chapter three. Heh. F*** ::fights off sudden fit of the giggles:: Anyway, chapter three is shaping up quite nicely over all.