Resulted after Cyn said, "'Kicking it?' What is he 16?"
(characters come from A Fanfic Reader's Unauthorized Guide…)
Hermione found Severus Snape in a characteristically foul mood one evening after he had just sent Captain Dunderhead and his first mate off to detention for talking like the sixteen year olds they were.
"Sir? Do you, um, want to 'kick it' tonight?"
"Miss Granger! Since when do you employ such inane, dunderhead-derived vocabulary?"
"I apologize, professor, for any misunderstanding. But I rather resent your description of my vocabulary."
"Is that so?" He sneered.
"Yes, so much so that I am rather inclined to "employ" one of those nicknames—"
Snape stepped closer to her, peering down at her intently. "You know what happens the moment you do that?"
"Indeed," she answered, smirking. "As long as it is followed by the action requested in my question."
Snape paused, confused. "Kicking… it…?" He barely managed to spit out the vulgar words.
"Kick…?" Hermione shook her head. Her tongue swept out across her lips, moistening them. "Sev, I'd said, 'do you want to LICK it tonight?"
Snape's sour face shifted into a smirking smile as he pulled Hermione closer and hastened to aid her in moistening her lips.
"And then hastened to moisten her other lips," said the Maryator.
AND THEY ALL STILL LIVED CRACKTASTICALLY (and sucktastically) EVER AFTER.